NATCH! DISPATCH: DUNG BEETLE SOCIETY
“Have you ever considered rolling a pile of shit home to your dinner table?” Gene said without looking up. “At first your mind just says,‘Fuuuck that!’ But then the freekin’ bat mobile dung beetle instinct thingy starts kicking in, and, you know, you gotta eat.” Jean reached out a hand to offer him comfort and he looked up briefly with huge, sorrowful eyes. “Their society is brutal. I mean,” he half-sniffled and she saw teardrops starting to form in his sad eyes, “they’re fighting over balls of shit.” Gene went on to describe the nature of rolling dung beetle society. Rolling dung beetles can fly, and they use those wings to locate fresh piles of dung dropped largely by herbivores. Apparently, said herbivores aren’t too efficient at utilizing the nutritional value of what they consume, because a lot of it just runs right through them. This is where the dung beetles make their bread and butter. They suck nutritional juices from the fresh dung. They also use their powerful limbs and pincers to cleave off sections for themselves, usually in the shape of a ball that they can roll home for dinner and to use as an incubator for the kids. I should clarify that a mated pair does this. The female sits on top while the male pushes backwards with his hind legs. Gene seemed mortified as he described it. “I don’t even know why I was listening to her (referring apparently to his mate).” Jean felt a momentary pang of jealousy and then quickly realized that, after all, he was talking about Daisy Dung Beetle. “She just showed up at the shit pile, and before I knew it, she was clamped onto my dung ball and pointing west.” Gene went on to describe what for him must have been an epic journey rolling his dung ball over hill and dale with only the sun, the moon, the stars, and his apparently domineering beetlette to guide him. Along the way, he had to fight off numerous rivals. It wasn’t clear to him whether his dung ball or bossy Daisy was the bigger prize, but for whatever reason, he found himself punching and clawing and, in a sort of ninja move that he never would have thought himself capable, he was able more than once to grasp an opponent’s lower limbs and flip him over backwards. Alas, there’s always someone a little stronger, smarter, quicker, and/or just plain hungrier than you are. Gene was not able to best his fifth rival, who brutally tossed him aside and disappeared over the hill with his dung ball and his girl.
